blind faith. gratitude.

by wynlim

Many times in life, or at least in mine, you need to take a leap off some edge & hope that there will be somebody there to catch you. Else, you’ll only get to walk the well-travelled path everybody else walks upon.

I had no expectations when I came to SF. The thing is, I love travelling and till date I haven’t gone to a place and felt like I should have stayed home instead. So to me, whatever happens, at least I got to travel. And eat airline food. 

I am very glad that after months of procastination and fear, I did eventually make this leap. For this trip has gone a thousand times beyond my wildest expectations.

I am in a very grateful mood today. I did some work I feel good about, I met some people I feel good about, I got to meet @nimbupani who has been my twitter friend for eons. I thought I was going to meet her at Mission, but she had to be around SOMA, so I made the commute down to see her. 

It was so worth it.

Not only did I have a great convo with her – I wanted to visit the Apple store after that to continue salivating at the new MBAs. Somehow by some guidance, I went into Westfield. And somehow I noticed this tiny kiosk selling ipad cases. I have been wanting to buy a new ipad case. Mine’s SwitchEasy Canvas which I love, but it adds a lot of weight to the iPad II and makes it feel like the original iPad. So I browsed the kiosk, I ended up falling in love with one case and I saw a similar case for the iphone. My iphone case is over-stretched so I thought I wouldn’t mind getting a new one as well.

I took my iphone out of its over-stretched cover to put the new one on it….and guess what. It is not overstretched. The phone is overstretched. My iphone 4 somehow got pregnant and the case came apart.

I went into a state of panic. How can I possibly live without my iphone! Then I remembered that the Apple Store is nearby and this would be the perfect time to test their lengendary Genius Bar service. I wondered if it would be an issue that I was a tourist and my iphone was from Singapore. 

I didn’t know you have to book appointments with the Genius Bar, thankfully this very helpful lady helped me check on the appointment slots – one last slot left! *phew*. 

They looked at my iphone suspiciously – the case was coming apart – it was as though as I’ve dropped it. The guy told me that it would cost $29 to fix the backing, which was probably caused by a huge impact to the case – physical damage is not covered by the warranty. I looked at him and told him that the phone is not cracked. It is obviously swollen. 

Thankfully, he took a longer look and realised what I had meant. He got me an exchange, no questions asked. No proof of purchase needed. I love Apple. He even helped me to unlock my replacement phone because my original one wasn’t locked. Wow. 

So again, long story short, if @nimbupani didn’t ask me to meet her for coffee near SOMA, I would have blissfully gone unaware of my exploding iphone. It was put in a hazardous bag btw. I wanted it back for like a minute to back up some SMSes and he said it was dangerous.

Who knows what would have happened if I didn’t notice it today? 

It is times like these that I really feel there is an invisible force guiding me. I cannot describe it. Things have been in such a state of flow. It is as though someone is saying to me, as long as you’re willing to take the leap, I’ll be there to catch you. And time and time again, I’m getting reminded of it. 

I am very, very glad that I did not succumb to my circumstances and accept things as they were. I am grateful that I recognised that I was reaching a impasse with my life and decided to make a radical change. I actually wouldn’t consider coming to SF radical….going to the middle east would be radical. Everybody is telling me that it is all in my mind.

No, I am very certain to say now, it is not in my mind. You have to fight for what you want in life. You cannot be stuck somewhere and try to trick your mind into thinking that it is okay. That happiness is purely a state of mind.

And I am so grateful. Very very grateful for those who have encouraged me patiently and endlessly to make this leap. My twitter friends. Strangers I don’t know but have connected to me on twitter giving me consistent support. I don’t care what they say about twitter and whether it is making money. But it is definitely making a difference in people’s lives. A huge one in mine. I have met so many twiiter friends that became authentic, honest friendships. I connect better with my twitter friends better than facebook. 

Nevertheless, I would like to give thanks to the following people for making this trip possible:

@jasonong, @foounder, @minxuan, @mingyeow – They’re the key people who gave me this idea to come here in the first place and kept telling me I’ll be fine. Special props to @minxuan for telling me non-stop how much she loves the Bay Area. If they ever need an evangelist, she’s the person! 

Of course, special thanks to @andycroll for his very persistent emails to get me out for coffee. Else, I’ll not even be meeting people now. lol.

(of course I love a lot of other people but this is a SF special!)

I know I sound like I am giving an oscar speech or I am dying, but I think life is really transient and it is really important to show gratitude whenever you can. Else, you’ll never know when you’ll lose the chance to. Just like my iphone died for no apparent reason. Recently, a Singaporean passed away in New York due to some viral infection, leaving her husband behind. They were on holiday. Death is real and it is near. It is my best motivation for life, every single day.

You know, I met my partner five years ago and I knew immediately that she was the one. (Previously I never had a relationship that lasted more than 2 years) In fact, in 6 days, it will be exactly 5 years since we’ve first met. Our meeting was very serendipitous. A story for another day.

When I first arrived in SF 12 days ago, I knew I wanted to be here. It is an instant feeling of recognition, just like how I recognised my partner. How can you explain the instant evaporation of my perpetual commitment phobia even though I’ve barely known her for like 5 seconds?

So for the past few days something has been happening which I cannot share for now. It is serendipity at work again, and I recognise it when I see it.

I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know good or bad, it is going to be very exciting – and what more can I ask for? From walking dead to a walking bundle of joy in a matter of weeks.

If I were to die tomorrow, I will have no regrets.